She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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