my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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