why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize