We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize