We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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