I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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