i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize