it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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