How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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