So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
