Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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