when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
