I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize