I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
