just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
