is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
