she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize