My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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