Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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