Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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