the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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