so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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