Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
