in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
