just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
