He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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