How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
