I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
