well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
