Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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