Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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