The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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