the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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