who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
