She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
