so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
