Kiss
Puke
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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