we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my shit smells like andre
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
