I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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