just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
