The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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