Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize