Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
