If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
