You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
