Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just high enough for therapy.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
