Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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