i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
