Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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