im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
