I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
