I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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