So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
