Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry XxMingmingXx hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later

Fav 4 3343 1122
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.

Fav 11 3429 1413
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"

Fav 14 3656 1843
share tweet
(580): View more from Oklahoma

Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

Fav 4 4182 999
share tweet
(949): View more from California

I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.

(949): View more from California

In a moving vehicle and other people in the car

Fav 7 1607 737
share tweet
(910): View more from North Carolina

Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.

Fav 2 1225 670
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(707): View more from California

The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.

Fav 7 1261 640
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.

Fav 0 660 555
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.

(208): View more from Idaho

Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.

Fav 0 14 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT