That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
