hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
