Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize