I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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