Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize