week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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