Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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