In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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