I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
