If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
