Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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