That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize