You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
