Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
