Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize