I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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