That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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