Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
