He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
