Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize