You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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