Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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