she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
