this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
