I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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