He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
