Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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