Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
