remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
