I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
