I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
